coming full circle

 So here it is, the second entry to my new blog.  This is a new way to express myself. I am pretty excited to be putting my thoughts, ideas, and stories down for all of you out there.  I've been thinking about doing this for a while as it's been a regular habit of mine dating back since I was a child.  Im not sure why or when it started but I've always had a notebook to jaunt things down here and there.  Starting off as journals, then to random ideas on my phone to full documentation and observations of my travels.   At the beginning,  perhaps I found it was a better way to get things off my mind than to express it out loud.  A whole lot safer maybe and without judgement.   Back then the stories and thoughts were mainly of my sisters.  Growing up as a middle child of 3 sisters can produce quite a bit of emotional material to fill a few million pages.  Granted it was basic but to the point.  There was no such filter...what I felt was what I expressed.  I feel it's this that changes the most when we become adults.  We filter so much.  Scared to reveal what's going on.  So self-conscious and with fears.  My mom found these journals a few years back and wow it turned into a very entertaining weekend.   

     If you can imagine, most people thought I was a shy child.  I remember thinking back then,  what does this mean,  To be shy...Was it that I kept to myself and even back then was an observer of life.  Was it that I chose to express those observations less by speaking and more by writing and other creative avenues.  It's hard to believe now that being shy was ever part of my personality as I reveal these days quite the opposite as an expressive extrovert.  Maybe through being a quiet observer I figured out good ways early to channel my expressions, that when I got older, It became easy for me.  I think that now I've become a fairly open person.  Perhaps sometimes too much but I think that's where it stems from.   Who knows what happens along the way but I do know now, that I am still that same person that I was when I was a child with a need to express in whatever form I feel is necessary.  I think for a while I held back from putting my writing out there as I am a lot more comfortable and confident with the mediums of painting and photography.  but you get to a point in your life when you really have to just let go, step outside the comfort zone and come full circle.  That french expression "pourquoi pas" Why not, comes to mind.  Why not return back to a child-like behaviour of just revealing the basics.  Just being still, looking around, and expressing.

    So here it goes, I hope you enjoy reading this blog as much as I am going to enjoy sharing it. My intention is to fill these pages with my ideas, thoughts, stories of past and present, tales, lucid dreams, and whatever randomness I get up to.   Without filtering and without limitations.  In a true Flaneur style, observing, documenting, and then creating in whatever form comes to me.  In a way,  getting back to the basics, and where I started from.